Baby-Led Potty Training From Birth (Elimination Communication)
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Potty training from birth (elimination communication or EC) sounds weird the first time you hear about it.
Once you get your head around the idea, it feels like the most natural thing in the world.
Disposable nappies have only been around since the 1950s but they weren’t popular until the 80s when Pampers implemented some heavy marketing and paid a doctor to advertise the “seven signs of readiness” on TV. Before that, it was cotton terries and a safety pin with children reaching toilet independence much earlier.
Nappies are a privilege
In many countries, disposable nappies don’t even exist. While doing voluntary work in Africa, the family I stayed with for three months had a single washable nappy that was more like a flimsy pair of pants.
I had no children back then, but looking back now I can see just how much of a privilege nappies are. I am of the opinion capitalism is causing climate change, but considering how huge our individual carbon footprint is in the West, it only seems fair that we at least try to reduce our environmental impact on an individual level too.
If you’d like to learn more, I have also written content on reducing your carbon footprint.
Coming up
In this guide, I’m going to tell you what Elimination Communication is and how to get started with your baby.
What is elimination communication?
What are the benefits?
How do you get started with EC?
Examples of signals at different ages.
Can you do EC and still use nappies?
When parenting is a struggle.
When your baby refuses the potty.
More on potty resistance.
Potty resistance from toddlers
What you need and where to shop
1. What is elimination communication?
Elimination communication (EC) also known as baby-led pottying or natural infant hygiene, is a mindset that involves giving your baby the opportunity to use the potty from birth.
It is entirely child-led; there is no “training” or pressure. You simply follow your baby’s natural rhythms and signals so you can give them the chance to eliminate in a more hygienic and respectful way.
It doesn’t mean you have to give up nappies; parents doing EC simply consider them to be a “backup” rather than a toilet.
If you know your baby is about to do a poo, why not just hold them over the toilet or a bowl? It’s much easier than cleaning a dirty bum or washing extra cloth nappies, you know?
2. What are the benefits of elimination communication?
You save money on disposable nappies or have fewer cloth diapers to clean
Having a better understanding of your baby’s needs can be a bonding experience
Less crying - some babies really don’t like having a wet nappy on, yet they don’t have the words to tell you.
Less laundry.
They are usually potty trained at an earlier age giving them more independence (every child is different though, it’s not a race).
It is respectful to the baby.
It is more hygienic -there is less chance of nappy rash
It is really good for the environment.
Photo from Getty Images
3. How do you start EC?
Observation is the best way to begin elimination communication. Set aside an hour or so and do nappy-free time with no distractions (aka don’t have your phone!). Use towels or blankets, have a potty nearby if you like, and write down any signals you notice and the times your baby eliminates. This is obviously a lot easier when they can’t move.
The easiest way for me was to fold a piece of paper in half and use one side for times and the other for signals. You can then add to this throughout the day (and night if you wish). Do this as much as you are able to for a few days.
Sound cues
As your baby can’t talk and will not be able to communicate effectively for a long time, you can introduce sound cues to help them link a chosen noise to a bodily function. Some people prefer one sound for everything whereas others will choose two - it’s completely up to you how you do it.
From birth (or whatever age your baby is now) make your chosen sound every single time you see your baby wee or poo. Later on, they will recognise the sound and will learn to go on cue (which is strange and impressive to any family who witnesses it for the first time!).
The sound cues we use are “ppssssss” for a wee and a low hum for a poo. Remember you will probably end up doing these sounds in public toilets at some point.
Sign language
Sign language can be introduced from a young age in elimination communication.
A baby won’t be able to repeat it back, but they may be able to recognise the gesture after being exposed to it over time. The goal is to provide them with a way to communicate back to you before they can speak. It works great for some kids but not for all - all children are different so it’s okay if they don’t.
You also don’t have to use sign language accurately; we do a mixture of ASL and Makaton because I wanted something easy for a child to copy (and for me to remember!) You could make up your own gesture or copy one off of YouTube.
Our sign for potty is to pat your chest twice and we do a fisted hand twist for a wee.
The classic EC hold - put the palms of your hands under each thigh and hold over a potty, bowl or a sink.
Timing
Timing is the simplest EC method - you consistently offer the potty at the same times each day so your baby comes to expect these opportunities (or pottytunities) over time.
A good example of timing when practising elimination communication is a morning wee. The first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is walk to the toilet, am I right? Babies are no different.
The start of the day and after a nap is the easiest EC catch because it’s biologically normal to urinate upon waking. Even at night, babies don’t wee in their sleep, they wee in between sleep cycles. It’s why they start fussing and maybe the reason they wake up crying in the first transition when their bladder is full of milk.
You may have to get in there quite quickly though. If you like to breastfeed in bed, you may find a top hat potty is useful to have (or a chamber pot, potty insert, a plastic bowl) so you can feed them on the potty in the morning.
Other times to offer the potty:
During a nappy change
After eating
Before going down for a nap
When you go to bed at night
During sleep cycle transitions when baby starts fussing or squirming in their sleep.
If you get an intuitive feeling that they need to go (you will find you are usually right!)
If your child doesn’t do anything on the potty, that’s okay. It may be that they’ve already been in their nappy. It isn’t about avoiding all “misses” but trying to be respectful by giving opportunities. If you’re consistent, it will become a normal part of your routine.
Signals
I mentioned before that the best way to begin EC is by observing your baby during some nappy-free time. When you observe them you may begin to notice signals they do before they wee or poo.
A signal is a natural bodily response that happens involuntarily before your baby eliminates. There are some signals that are really obvious - the classic poo face once you’ve started weaning (and got past the horrible weaning poo phase), or the pee dance a child does when they’re trying to hold on. You are probably familiar with that one yourself!
Signals can include:
Hand gestures
Facial expressions
Body language
Vocal cues
4. Examples of signals at different ages
I can only speak from my own experience of practising elimination communication with my own two children. Here are some of the signals I observed at different ages.
Newborn
Elimination communication from birth is easy because newborn babies are so primal.
If you have a newborn, you’ll probably find they cry when they need a wee because that is the main way they communicate with you. Crying can be distressing but with my daughter, she stopped crying as soon as she’d done her wee in the potty. I didn’t do EC at birth with my first baby but I do remember him crying loads during nappy changes.
My son was in the NICU for a few months and he often waited for his wet nappy to be taken off before he did his poo. This resulted in a fair few floor messes (yep, floor!) or him eliminating as soon as I got the clean disposable nappy on (sigh!)
My daughter was the same but with wees. She would start weeing 1 minute into every nappy change every single time. When you think of it, it actually makes sense to potty a newborn baby in nappy changes - less crying, less mess on the changing table or in the clean nappy you just put on!
Not yet mobile baby
Once they are a little older, you will notice a change in their overall energy when they need a wee. At 3 months, my daughter would be calmly laying on a towel under her baby gym when all of a sudden her focus would break and she’d start fussing. I’d hold her over the potty, do her sound cue and she’d wee. Afterwards, she’d continue playing happily.
Before they are mobile, this is the easiest age to observe signals. It could be a gesture or a sound cue.
Mobile baby
Once my daughter was mobile and in that eager exploration phase, I noticed she would come back to me most of the time she needed a wee. I have a ‘spirited’ older son and when he is present I often miss my baby girl’s frequent wee cues because everyone wants me at the same time all the time. Her poo face is an easy catch though.
Now that she is cruising, my daughter will stand up when it’s time to do a poo and go really still. I know it’s about to happen because her eyes don’t really focus on anything - like she’s staring into space. At this point, I have to do a quick dash to her with the top hat potty.
If she needs a wee (often a few minutes after a poo), she will do a little bum jiggle moments before. She will not sit on the potty in between each event either, that would make it too easy for me! She likes to be off the potty the second she’s done so I have to hover nearby for a bit.
Toddler
I’ve got a very spirited son who craves independence and bodily autonomy. While this is great, it can also make toileting difficult.
His signals were vaguely wandering to a corner of the room, running around the house (charging backwards and forwards means he needs a poo and he’s avoiding going), doing a wee-wee dance, touching his bum.
Honestly? My best advice for signals in elimination communication would be to trust your intuition.
5. Can you Do EC and still use nappies?
Yes, most people do. Nappies are considered a backup for any times EC is inconvenient. You can’t stare at your baby all day in modern life, especially if you have other children or you have to do work.
It is perfectly ok to do EC part-time, to use nappies at night or to practice this method in whatever way works for you. It is not all or nothing.
This includes when you can’t be bothered. There will always be days when everything feels like too much effort. Especially if you’ve had a poor nights sleep, have a teething baby, illness or you just have lots of jobs to do.
I’d also like to add that elimination communication is not a cloth diaper thing. Many parents using disposable nappies practice EC successfully.
6. When parenting is a struggle
Elimination communication doesn’t make you a ‘super mum’ and there are always times when it doesn’t feel like it’s working.
< Insert cliche about EC being a journey, not a destination >
I like my EC to be as low maintenance as possible (my blog name probably gives that away). This means using cloth nappies whenever it works for me. There have been times when I’ve gone all day and night without using a single nappy and other times where I’ve put her in a nappy all day and only offered at some nappy changes.
The more consistent you are the easier it is, but that doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. It’s way too hard to be a perfect mum. We are all doing our best. And sometimes that means taking a day off.
Becoming a parent is HARD and when your newsfeed is full of perfect photos it can make you feel like you’re not doing good enough.
So here is a personal photo of me sat in maternity pants, breastfeeding my newborn daughter while holding her over a potty insert. My house was a mess then and it still is now. And that’s ok.
7. When your baby refuses the potty
I cannot stress this enough - children go through phases where they refuse the potty. With babies, the main reason I have noticed this happening is teething.
If your baby is teething, they may decide they want a week off. As this method is baby-led, it is important to not force them to go when they don’t want to.
Periods of rapid development may also impact their cooperation. If they are learning a new skill, like standing up, they may not be interested in sitting on the potty.
During times of refusal, I tend to offer less or even give them a day or two off completely. When trying to return, there can still be some resistance. I manage to overcome this by changing things up a bit.
Ideas for making the potty more interesting:
Have a dedicated potty toy.
Move the potty to a new space like the garden, on a table or in a different room.
Try introducing a toilet seat if you haven’t already. Both my kids preferred a toilet seat at a young age, we read books once the novelty of a new room wore off.
Sing songs - any nursery rhyme will do but you could learn and introduce a potty song at this point.
If really struggling you could always do five minutes of screen time. There are some great potty songs on YouTube.
8. More on potty resistance
One important thing to consider are you offering at the right times? Have your baby’s needs changed? Maybe they no longer need a poo after breakfast and it’s happening during dinner instead.
Their resistance could simply be that they do not need to go right now. Are you getting resistance at any other time in the day? Maybe in the highchair or at naptime.
My older child (as a baby) used to always need a poo during mealtimes and this resulted in a lot of hassle at mealtimes.
My younger child likes to poo between 10 and 11 which is a nightmare for naptime. She will not go for a nap if she needs a poo so I have to wait it out and observe her closely. It has helped to give her dried fruit and flaxseeds in her porridge at breakfast as this helps her to go (not always possible when baby is a selective eater though).
9. Potty resistance with a toddler
I could probably write a whole separate blog post on this. It is a toddler’s job to not listen to their parents, to say no, to do the opposite to what you want (even if it’s the opposite to what they want).
Toddlers truly are a mystery at times. They have no impulse control, underdeveloped communication skills and at times are completely irrational. When you feel impatient, be mindful that adults can be exactly the same. All children really want is to be in control of what happens to them.
My son turned two in the pandemic, lost his routine and gained a baby sister - all in the space of six months. he was out of nappies during the day before he turned two so I can confidently say I’ve had more than my fair share of potty regressions (also called potty pauses). I had to have a lot of patience and empathy but we eventually got back on track.
In my experience, potty resistance in toddlers is caused by:
Big feelings
Being told to go too often (over-prompting)
Not feeling like they have enough control
A need for privacy - covering your eyes can make a big difference.
Teething
Milestones
Having too much fun playing and not wanting to stop
Big changes in their life (like new babies or starting nursery)
What can you do? Try and stay consistent and be as patient as you can. Try not to go back a step and put them in nappies as this might be distressing for them.
Make sure you don’t show any frustration when they have accidents and definitely don’t punish or discipline them. Things like rewards charts might seem like a good idea but they are not dealing with the root issue or the underlying feelings and may only help temporarily.
All kids have accidents and regressions, whether they are EC-ed or not.
10. What do you need to get started + where to shop?
I’m not going to give you a shopping list, in fact, I really don’t think you need much at all for EC.
A top hat potty for a young baby (an insert from a big potty or a bowl works fine though). I bought my top hat potty second hand on eBay as I try to avoid buying plastic new. The cheapest place I’ve found them new is the Nappy Lady. These are ideal to use when co-sleeping or breastfeeding.
Leg warmers - you may find that your little one ends up with no trousers on a lot. Leg warmers can be made by cutting the toes off your old socks. You can also cut the top off of tights to make long socks.
Accessible clothing - sleepsuits are kinda annoying when doing EC. I find it easiest to keep my daughter in dresses and leggings or tops and leg warmers. My son was always in a top or rompers without the bottom poppers done up. In summer they both just wore vests. I find babygrows annoying so I choose normal tank top style vests with no poppers. Some people choose to make or buy split trousers.
A found a lanolised wool puddle pad to be useful to protect your bed but this is not an “essential” item.
I use a Petit Lulu minimal system and a nappy belt with prefolds and muslins I already had. When I’m busy or out I use my ordinary cloth nappies (all-in-ones and pockets) as backups. You can get reusable diapers designed for EC but I’ve always focussed on keeping a low budget so the nappy belt was perfect for me.
Towels and blankets for nappy free time/carpet protection. The wool puddle pad works well for this too.
Where to buy elimination communication products?
UK Josephine Edwards (clothing)
DE Emilino
CA Komfi Baby
US ECwear
bEFORE YOU GO…
Have you tried elimination communication or are you thinking about it? Let me know if you have any other questions in the comments below and I’ll try my best to help.
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